Yesterday I had the beginnings of a fascinating conversation with one of our interns at work. [I say 'beginnings' because she had to go to a meeting long before either of us felt done with the conversation!]
She is a senior at a small, local college working hard at getting her degree and wants to be a pastor or, at the very least, she wants to teach as much as she can in a church setting.
Apparently, she is required to take a class entitled "Marriage and Family". I couldn't possibly comprehend what a class like this was meant to teach until she told me some of the subjects they've covered so far: would you change your last name when you get married?, would you ask a guy out on a date? and a more unspoken topic: have you landed your man yet?
After the initial shock wore off that this "education" exists, we started getting into the nitty-gritty of the topics at hand. She told me that the professor [is that even a fair title??] always goes to her for the dissenting opinion.
When the class was asked if they would consider changing their names upon their, apparently inevitable marriage, they responded zombie-like, "yes, of course." My friend responded: "Not if their last name was stupid." She was shunned.
When the class was asked if they would ever ask a guy out on a date they were appalled, shocked and resoundingly said "no"! My friend's reply was: "sure!". They all turned around and gave her the death-stare, undoubtedly crossing her name off their wedding invitation list.
In 2011 it's hard for me to imagine that this passes as education. The "lessons" being taught here are the exact reason I want to go back to my 19 year old self, grab her by the shoulders, shake some sense into her and say, "Stop wondering if you'll marry any of these guys! You won't! You'll find your own way and accomplish things you can't even imagine! You'll have amazing friends, you'll travel, buy your own home at 25, have opinions and ideas you came to on your own and although sometimes you wish you had a partner, it turns out -- you won't need one!" That girl lived in the late 90's and I'm sorry to say it doesn't seem like these 19 or 20 year olds have much of a fighting chance either despite the many years that have since passed.
They don't know yet that God has gifted them and maybe even called them to continue studying, teach [and not just children [gasp! maybe adult men!], be engineers, artists, doctors, graphic designers, movie, TV or theatre producers, diplomats, protesters or business owners. Honestly, I not only resent the way this school and our adults continue to pass on this mentality for keeping our women home and pigeon-holed but I also resent these young women for allowing it. I resent them for depriving us of their God-given talents or gifts, they way they might affect change in the world because they're busy man-hunting because no one told them they didn't have to -- that they'd be ok, even great, if they waited or didn't do it at all.
I look forward to the day when girls grow up looking forward to being able to do it all: work because they love it, work because they are following God's call, love their partners well and without selfishness and, even care for and raise their children too.
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